Glossary Of Data Processing Jobs

Data Processing Manager

        Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
        Is more powerful than a locomotive
        Faster than a speeding bullet
        Walks on water
        Gives policy to God

Assistant Data Processing Manager

        Leaps short buildings in a single bound
        Is more powerful than a switch engine
        Just as fast as a speeding bullet
        Walks on water if sea is calm
        Talks with God

Senior Systems Analyst

        Leaps short buildings with a running start and good wind
        Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
        Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
        Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
        Talks with God if special request is approved

Systems Analyst

        Bearly clears a quonset hut
        Loses tug of war with locomotive
        Can fire a speeding bullet
        Swims well
        Talks with God only when spoken to

Lead Programmer

        Makes high marks on wall when trying to leap over tall buildings
        Is run over by locomotive
        Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury
        Dog paddles
        Talks with animals

Senior Programmer

        Runs into buildings
        Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
        Is not issued ammunition
        Can stay afloat with a life jacket
        Talks to walls

Maintenance Programmer

        Falls over door step when trying to enter tall buildings
        Says "look at the choo-choo"
        Wets himself with a water pistol
        Plays in mud puddles
        Mumbles to himself

Programmer

        Lifts up buildings and walks under them
        Kicks trains off their tracks
        Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them
        Freezes water with a glance
        He is GOD!!!